Healing Broken Hearts

BY DAVID FEDDES

Psalm 147:3-5; Isaiah 49:8-16
What happened, Mommy? Scamp was such a nice dog. Why did he have to die?"

Heartbreak happens. It happens a lot. Heartbreak also hurts. And it hurts a lot. Maybe the first time you ever felt heartbroken was when your pet died. But that's not the last heartbreaker, nor the worst. Heartbreak happens in so many different ways: a best friend moves away, a romance breaks up, a dear one dies, a marriage falls apart, a career disintegrates, an accident or illness disables you.

Where can we find healing for broken hearts? What can possibly make them whole again? Only the touch of the living God. The Bible says, "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).

Those are wonderful words, but maybe they ring hollow for you. Maybe you have a hard time believing them. But, please, read on. Let's take a closer look at who God is and at how God applies His healing to our hearts. Then maybe the healing will begin, and you'll find that the Lord is indeed all you need.

You see, our Lord is at once a God of mind-boggling power and a God of tender love. The next two verses of that Psalm say: "He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite." Just think of it: a God of galaxies and of broken hearts, a God who controls outer space and yet concerns Himself with the inner space of His people.

Unmoved. Maybe you're thinking, "But I still feel that God is far away. It's like He's forgotten all about me." Well, you're not the only one to feel that way.

Isaiah 49 records a message of how God promised to rescue and restore the people of Israel. It starts in verse 8, "In an acceptable time have I heard thee, and in a day of salvation have I helped thee." It then goes on to speak of the great things God will do. After that rousing message, there's a call to sing a hymn of praise: "Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the Lord hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted" (v. 13).

But the people of Israel do not shout for joy, nor do they feel God's comfort . Instead, they say, "The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me" (v. 14). These people have been through so much, their lives are so shattered, and their hearts are so broken that they keep on thinking that God is far away. They think He's not really going to do anything for them.

Maybe you know the feeling. At that point, we need to realize again that the God of the galaxies is mightymightier than any bad circumstances in our lives. And we need to hear what God says in verses 15,16: "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." If you don't think you can trust God, think again! Just look at the imprint on the palms of Jesus' hands, the wounds caused by Roman spikes, wounds that have your name written on them.

God vs. man. To get beyond your hurts and your broken heart, stop understanding God in terms of the people you know. The Lord says in the Bible, "I am God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee" (Hosea 11:9). People are infected with evil, but God is holy. People break promises, but God keeps His promises. The Bible says, "God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" (Num. 23:19)

There's only one person you can look at to get a perfectly clear picture of what God is like, and that person is Jesus of Nazareth. In Jesus, God became a man. In Jesus, we see just how far God will go to heal broken hearts. God keeps His promises, even it if costs Him everything. Jesus would rather die than abandon us.

Underlying Needs

What does God do to make our broken hearts whole again? Well, let's think about our deepest needs:

1. A sturdy identity.

Who are you? You may think of yourself as the person who is married to so-and-so, or the person with such and such a career, or the parent of such and so many children. But who are you, really? Who are you if your mate dies or leaves you? Who are you if your career falls apart? Are you just a bundle of moods bouncing from day to day and from one event to the next? And who are you when you yourself die?

Whether you've been through a major change in your life, or you're dealing with the effects of abuse, you need a sturdy identity, and God has given you one. God has given you faith to know that you are a child of God.

By faith, you know from the Bible that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. You know that God made us in His image and designed us for eternity. And you know how human sin has brought dreadful evil and devastating damage and death into the creation as well as our own lives. By faith you also know that God set out to rescue us from our ruin. He displayed His mightiest acts of all in the death and resurrection of Jesus. He then gives us the faith to believe in Him, thereby becoming a part of His church and a member of His family.

This identity is big enough and strong enough and sure enough to build your life on. Your spouse, your career, your childrenall have a place in your life, but they're not you. Your trials and heartbreaks also have a place in your life, but they don't get the last word. God does. God is the main character in your identityHe's your heavenly Father. Even when many aspects of your life are changing, even when things seem utterly senseless, faith gives you an identity and a purpose for living.

2. A promising future.

Second, we need a promising future. We need to expect the best. In other words, we need hope. When you've been through a horrible trauma or a tragic loss, you may feel as if you'll never be happy again. Counseling centers are full of people who feel only darkness and depression and despair.

How does God meet this need? He gives us a future based on His promises, not on our circumstances. This doesn't mean we won't have our share of sadness. We still have troubles, and we still cry, because we're still living in a broken world. But in Christ, we can and will endure. Hence, John 16:33 says, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." And Psalm 34:18,19 reads: "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."

God promises to deliver His people. He promises a grand future, when all things will be made new. And Jesus' resurrection is the proof that nothing will stop God from keeping His promise. Even death itself can't destroy the future God has in mind for His people. No matter how dark your situation, no matter how final it all seems, the God of resurrection comes to you with promising possibilities, with the gift of a hope that can't be quenched. Romans 8:18 reminds us, "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." God's gift of hope doesn't take away our sadness, but it does help us to keep our focus on a brighter future.

3. Restored relationships.

It's an awful thing to be alone, to have no one who really understands you. One reason so many people in our society go to professional therapists is that they don't have any real friends they can trust with their huffs and their deepest secrets, and much therapy is devoted to discovering what damaged relationships may lie at the root of a person's problems.

When you're carrying a load of guilt because of something you've done in the past or because of some sin that you keep on doing, it spoils your relationship with God and poisons your relationships with others. When you're carrying around resentment over the way someone else treated you, it spoils your relationships and eats at your insides and threatens to destroy you. How can you get beyond the bad things you've done and the bad things that have been done to you? The only answer is the cross of Jesus Christ.

Jesus died to take away the sins of believers and to dispose of the garbage that pollutes our relationships. The cross is where God dumps all the junk that exists in your relationship with Him, and the cross is also where you need to dump all the junk that exists in your relationships with others. The cross is the place of forgiveness, the place of renewed relationships that are built on lovethe love of God.

Much of our heartbreak isn't just due to something bad that's happened to us. It usually also involves something bad we've done ourselves. We need to take responsibility for ourselves and for our sin. That can be hard. Often we're too proud or too angry or too afraid to come clean.

Contrite spirit. But Jesus changes all that. He paid the price to restore and renew your relationship with God. You don't have to bring anything to God except yourself and your guilty, broken heart. The Bible says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise" (Psalm 51:17).

God's love sets you free from the sin of self-righteousness and gives you the grace to repent and admit your sins and ask for forgiveness, knowing that God will accept you in Christ. God's love also sets you free from the sin of self-protectiveness, of never daring to love too deeply or become too vulnerable, and God gives you the grace to let go of resentment and fear and to dare to love again.

What a healing takes place when God sets us free from guilt to enjoy His love again! And what a healing takes place when God sets us free from resentment to love others and to experience their love! Restored relationships with God and men are God's greatest gift of allthe gift of love.

And once God begins healing your broken heart, he will also use you to bring healing to others. You look beyond yourself to the needs of others. They, too, need a sturdy identity, and you can share your faith. They, too, need promising possibilities, and you can share your hope. And they, too, need renewed relationships, and you can share the love that flows from God.

Faith, hope, and love this is God's medicine for shattered spirits. This is the healing touch of the God of galaxies and broken hearts, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. o

Rev. David Feddes is radio minister on The Back to God Hour, a ministry of the Christian Reformed Church, 6555 W. College Drive, Palos Heights, IL 60463.
 

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